A Rare Find
by Lady Feylene
Summary: Order of the Phoenix Spoilers! Be warned...Remus finds comfort and more from an unlikely source.... (Spoilers for Book 5)


  
  


Disclaimer: characters used herein do not belong to me, they belong to The Author Without a Heart. (JK Rowling)

  
  


Warning: Some very soft core sex stuff. Probably...PG-13 rated. And one bad word.

  
  


Spoilers: PoA, and OotP. Major spoilers.

  
  


Pairing: Remus/Tonks

  
  


Summary: Remus finds comfort and more in an unlikely source...

  
  
  
  


Author's Note: Personally, I think this is the best het couple ever. I don't know why, I just see it. And so I had to write them a little fic. It's fluffy, it's sweet, it's a little bit sad in places, but I like it.

  
  


This pretty much picks up right where OotP left off.... 

  
  
  
  


A Rare Find

  
  
  
  


Remus sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Well, that was over and done with at least. Harry was safely home. But now what? He turned away, really not in the mood for the company of the rest of the Order.

  
  


"Hey..."

  
  


Remus turned, offering Tonks a small smile. She was looking at him rather seriously, her eyes unreadable.

  
  


"Yes?" He asked, always polite.

  
  


"You look like shit."

  
  


"Well, thank you." He said dryly, shaking his head and turning away.

  
  


"No, Remus, I mean it..." She said, jogging to catch up and fall into step next to him. "You look...you look like you haven't slept in weeks."

  
  


"Not well, no." Remus admitted.

  
  


"You need to take it easy." She told him. 

  
  


"When this is done." He said, a bit more sternly then he'd intended. "It's difficult...I remember the first war. I remember how bad it was. And now..." He trailed off. Now it was just as bad. Worse, in a way. At least for him.

  
  


"It's gonna be okay." Tonks said, softly, and Remus was surprised to feel her hand slip into his, small fingers twining around his own.

  
  


"I hope so." Was all he could manage. He gave her hand a thankful squeeze. He had shied away from physical contact recently. It hurt, in a way he couldn't understand. They had all offered him pity, and sympathy, and kind words...

  
  


That wasn't what he wanted. He didn't have time to mourn, he didn't have time for that. There would be a time, later. But Tonks' hand in his didn't bother him. She was concerned for him, and it was touching.

  
  


"Come on...they've got things they want to do. Let's get back, and get you looking a little bit better, huh?" 

  
  


Remus was too tired to protest. Not tired of body, but tired of mind and soul. He allowed her to lead him back, back to that place. He hated it now. Too many memories, too much pain. But where else could he go?

  
  


"I know...I know it hurts..." She said, and she turned sad eyes to him. "But..."

  
  


"Please." He held up his hand, staying anymore words that she may speak. "Don't."

  
  


"Damn it Remus, you have to let yourself feel!" She said, lips and eyes narrowing. "That's it, isn't it? You haven't cried, you haven't gotten angry, you haven't done anything! You never do...and it's not healthy!"

  
  


"I *do* feel." Remus explained, patiently. "I simply...express it in my own way."

  
  


"Which isn't healthy! Keeping everything bottled up inside...you never let go. You never let your prefect mask of control slip!"

  
  


"No." Remus said, getting a bit exasperated. Of course he didn't. He had always been like that. The calm one. The rational one. And it had never changed.

  
  


"How can you...how can you live like that?" Tonks asked, her eyes searching his. Remus squeezed hr hand again-she hadn't taken it away-and smiled softly.

  
  


"You'd be surprised." He said, quietly.

  
  


"But...how can you let anyone close to you, like that?"

  
  


"With great difficulty." People getting 'close' had in the past, never been much of a good thing. Acceptance of his lyncathropy was one thing, but...

  
  


"You can't live like that..." She said, her voice strained. She was still searching Remus' eyes, and suddenly, he became very nervous. He felt much like a deer, caught in the sight's of the hunter's bow. And his nervousness did not ease when Tonks' free hand went to his face, to rest against his cheek.

  
  


"Tonks..." He whispered, wanting very much to pull away but finding he couldn't.

  
  


"Just shut up, Remus." She snapped, and she had to stand on tip-toe to kiss him. Remus froze, his lips unmoving under hers. But only for a moment. He felt everything breaking down, and he closed his eyes and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. This...this was easier then feeling. This was physical, tangible. Safe.

  
  


He opened his lips to her, and lifted her up to settle her firmly about his hips. She wrapped her legs around his waist, hands clutching at his shoulders now, as their tongues battered against one another. He staggered a bit, under her weight. He leaned her against the wall, shifting her, settling her more comfortably against him.

  
  


"We should really..." Tonks panted, between kisses. "Take this...to a bed..." She managed, but Remus ignored her, devouring her words with his kisses. He knew she was right though. And he thanked merlin that *that* was what she wanted, because there was no way he would be able to stop now. 

  
  


"You're...quite right..." He gasped. But he wasn't about let go of her. He may have been ab it under the weather, but he was still a werewolf. It was slow going, but he managed to make it to the stairs with her wrapped about him, his hands sliding up under the thin material of her T-shirt, fumbling with the clasps of her brassiere. 

  
  


Getting up the stairs proved a bit more difficult. He paused, after each step, presser her against the banister, still plundering her mouth. Halfway up the stairs he felt the clasp give way. By the top of the stairs, her T-shirt was off. By the time they reached the bedroom, so was Remus' jumper.

  
  


Shoving open the door to the room that he used the most, he then kicked it closed behind him. He tossed her onto the bed, eyes taking in her half-unclothed form. This was nothing to be savored, nothing slow or tender. Perhaps that would come later, but right now Remus had no desire for it. He leapt onto the bed, hands fumbling with the fastenings of her jeans, pulling them off, getting tem stuck on her shoes...

  
  


"Remus..." Tonks said, her voice almost amused. "Slow down a minute!" She pushed him off, and sat up, taking off her shoes and shimmying easily out of her jeans. "There." She shrugged her brassier all the way off, her eyes sparkling. Remus flushed slightly, And quickly divested himself of his own trousers.

  
  


"Much better." She said, nodding her approval. "Now come here..." 

  
  


***

  
  


Afterwards, they lay together in a sweaty tangle, Remus' head pillowed against Tonks' stomach. He felt...not exactly *good*, but better then he had since Sirius' death. He let out a small sigh, but more of contentment then anything else.

  
  


"You look a little better." Tonks said, fingers idly toying with Remus' hair.

  
  


"Do I?" He asked, mildly.

  
  


"There's color in your cheeks."

  
  


"I would hope so, all things considered." Now, in the aftermath, Remus allowed himself all the hang ups and insecurities he experienced during sex. He knew he was nothing spectacular in the way of looks, and his body had certainly been let go recently. He wasn't eating well, or sleeping well. And he knew-even without a mirror-that most of the color was gone from his hair. Whatever did a pretty, *young* woman want from him?

  
  


Unless of course the encounter had been nothing more then to give Remus a bit of release. Which, he supposed, was all too possible.

  
  


"I'd imagine we should gather our clothing from about the house." Remus said, lifting himself up.

  
  


"Why bother?" Tonks asked, with a bit of a shrug.

  
  


"Well, I think that when the rest of the Order comes home, you'd rather not have evidence of our wild little go 'round strewn all over the place."

  
  


"Doesn't bother me." Another small shrug.

  
  


"Er..." Remus wasn't sure what to say. "Well, it's rather...improper..."

  
  


"Why?" Tonks rolled over, so she was facing Remus. "You don't think I just...did this. Out of the blue..."

  
  


"Honestly, I am in the dark as to your motives. It was really more the intent I was concerned with."

  
  


"I've...I've liked you, Remus." Tonks admitted. "But...it's like you said. You're a hard person to get close to. And before...before this, I couldn't. I tried, but you never noticed."

  
  


"Really?" Remus sent his mind back, and now, on reflection, he could see that yes, Tonks had been attempting to attract his attention.

  
  


"Yeah." She nodded. "But you were always...it was him. I don't know what...what he was to you..."

  
  


"Oh." Remus laughed softly. "No. Nothing like that. But he...he was all I had."

  
  


"Not anymore." Tonks promised him, sealing her words with a kiss. "I know you miss him...hell, I miss him to, but..."

  
  


"I know." Remus nodded. "It just...it isn't fair. And I know life isn't fair, but it still upsets me."

  
  


"You're right. Life isn't fair at all. But that's why people are." She snuggled close to him, and Remus decided that she was far wiser then anyone would ever give her credit for. "You have to let him go, Remus."

  
  


"I know I do." He sighed, arms going around her soft form to hold her tightly. But it was a slow process. It was beginning, though. He could think of him now, without that cold pain. And that was the start.

  
  
  
  


"And I'm here for you." Tonks assured him. "If...if you want me..."

  
  


"I...I think I rather do." Remus admitted. He hadn't given her much thought, other then as a friend. And she had been a good one. And now it seemed, she wanted more. And it was probably high time Remus gave it. "I've been alone a very long time."

  
  


"You don't have to be. We're your friends here, Remus, and I...I care about you."

  
  


"I know." He smiled down at her. It had been a long time since anyone cared about him in that manner. What sort of emotional masochist was he, too push her away? Especially now. He didn't how long he would have. Could he allow himself to go off to what could very well be his death, and not accept what was being offered to him?

  
  


"I'm not asking for the rest of your life or anything..." Tonks added, as though perhaps she had admitted too much.

  
  


"No one ever does." Remus said, smiling. "But...I'm not a wealthy man at all. That may be all I have to give you."

  
  


"Then I'll take it."

  
  


And Remus decided that maybe he was happy, after all.

  
  


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End file.
